Regular Show, It's Anything But
by Kyle-Kenny-McCormick
Summary: Mordecai and Rigby are going on with their oh-so regular lives, but they uncover something about Benson, and suddenly they want to follow in his lead.


**Before you read! Understand that this is not a yaoi. I originally intended it to be a few months ago when I wrote it, but I found that I would rather appeal to the entire Regular Show fandom, and not just a small portion of it. This is a story based off the show, and it's just friendship between them. It's nothing entirely awkward that the J.G. and the others wouldn't do themselves. Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy it. C:**

Mordecai sat on the couch, gaze focused intently on the screen.

"Don't listen to them! You're voice is amazing; you'll go far!" He announced with pity for the American Idol reject who had just been cruelly insulted by the three harsh judges.

Rigby, a very curious raccoon, stared over the railing, an eyebrow raised. "Dude, what the H are you watching?"

Mordecai reached for the remote quickly and switched off American Idol. He coolly leaned back on the couch, "Nothing dude, just... nothing." He felt like an idiot, but shook away the feeling as Rigby shrugged and found a spot next to him on the couch.

"Okay, dude. I have an amazing plan. How do you feel about racecars?" The coon's face was anxious, hoping for an enthusiastic response from his larger bird friend. He stood entirely still, his mouth open happily, until Mordecai responded.

"Um, I guess they're pretty cool, why?" Mordecai nonchalantly answered, directing his attention back on finding something else to watch.

Rigby pulled out a magazine from behind his back and smiled. It was opened on a page, advertising something about racecars. "Because I found this in Benson's car," he said, pointing to some words in the far corner of the booklet, showing, in large bold letters:

**PROFESSIONAL RACE CAR TOURNAMENT THIS SATURDAY, 12:30, NEW MEMBERS WELCOME, EXPERIENCE NECESSARY.**

Mordecai's eyes scanned the paper, until he sighed and knocked it out or Rigby's paws.

"First off, we know nothing about racing, and second, give this back to Benson before he realizes it's gone."

"No, man! I went to all this trouble to get this! I had to smash his window, call Skip's over, tell him you broke it-."

Mordecai stood up, rolled his eyes and started walking towards the kitchen. "Nooooo way. We're gonna get in so much trouble if he finds out that you went in his car. Just bring it back before Benson drops his balls or something."

Benson busted through the front door.

They both turned their heads back.

"Okay! FESS UP! Who went in my car?"

Mordecai widened his eyes and Rigby quickly shoved the magazine under the cushion on the far side of the couch.

Rigby quickly pointed to Mordecai. "He did it!" He screamed, jumping off the couch and beginning to run on all fours towards the kitchen door.

"Uh-uh." Mordecai grabbed his friend's brown striped tail and halted him, holding him upside down with one wing. Rigby began squirming viciously in an attempt to come out of Mordecai's grasp, but had little success and gave up. "Rigby went in your car."

Rigby's face went into shock upon hearing his co-worked rat him out. "Rigby.." Benson began, obviously trying to sound calm, even though his gumballs were a fiery red color and he was inches away from Rigby's upside-down face, "Did you take something from inside my car? Namely, a magazine?" He intimidatingly interrogated.

Rigby shook his head. He didn't want to hear the wrath of Benson fall upon him.

Benson got angrier.

"If you took something from me, give it back. I'm not kidding. If you give it back, I'll...," he stopped and thought, "I'll give you both a week off from work- _paid_." He suggested.

"I don't have it!" Rigby yelled.

"Dude!" Mordecai exclaimed, dropping Rigby on his head. Rigby quickly regained his stance on the ground, but Mordecai stepped on his tail so he wouldn't attempt a run for it.

"He's testing us!" Rigby responded, flailing his arms in the air wildly.

Mordecai ran a stressful hand over the top of his head and released his foot from Rigby's tail. He walked towards the couch, taking the magazine from under the cushion and handing it over to Benson. "Here you go. I _told_ Rigby to give it back."

The gumball machine hastily snatched the magazine out of his wing and folded it behind his back. "Mordecai, Skips told me you took it. Don't lie to me. Next time, stay out of my car, OR YOU'RE FIRED!" He slammed the door on his way out, causing a nearby picture frame to fall to the floor and break.

"Geez, what was that all about?" Rigby rolled his eyes and relaxed on the couch, remote in his hand.

Mordecai took the remote angrily from Rigby's grasp. "You gotta stop pulling crap like that! It's getting us both in trouble, and it's really annoying, dude." Mordecai furrowed his brows, realizing that Rigby wasn't even paying much attention.

Rigby turned to Mordecai. "Whatever, dude! Look, Benson's threatened to fire us so many times, we all know he's not _really_ ever going to. We got yelled at, and we got a week off of work in return! We won."

Mordecai sat down next to his best friend and sighed. "Yeah, I guess you're right," he plugged their video game system into the T.V, and relaxed back into the couch. "What do you think he wanted that magazine so bad for, anyway?"

"I don't know. I never even saw what magazine it was. I was passing by his car a few hours ago, looking around," he said, running his fingers around the dark circles surrounding his eyes, "and it was just opened to that page with the race car stuff on it. I wanted it."

"Hm. Hm. I really wanna know why he freaked out like that."

"Awh, come on, he freaks out over stupid stuff like that all the time! Like that time we were using his stick hockey thing. We had to uncover that whole thing about his past. When he was young, had no life, and had a ponytail." Rigby shrugged.

"That's true.. You don't think we could have discovered something else about him if we looked in that magazine, do you?" Mordecai asked.

Rigby looked down at the controller Mordecai handed him and set it down. "I don't know. But now I want to find out."

"Me too," Mordecai added. "Let's go."

They walked outside to see Benson, sitting in the back seat of his car, holding up the magazine that was covering his face. They used the opportunity of his momentary obliviousness to them, to sneak behind the vehicle.

Rigby leaned against the back of the car, making a squeaking noise with his hand by accident. Starting at the back of this head, they noticed him put the magazine down and look anxiously from side to side. He turned his head back in their direction, but by that moment, they were bent down, out of view, and silent.

Benson shook his head and went back to his magazine. Mordecai and Rigby both stood back up from their crouched position on the ground, and looked back through the car window. Benson's head was blocking the view of the magazine, but when he moved to what looked like a slightly more comfortable position, it came into view.

Mordecai squinted his eyes and Rigby attempted to stand on the bumper, since he was too short to see while standing on the ground.

"Dude, it's just a lame car magazine. I'm out of here." Mordecai announced, beginning to go back towards the house.

"No, wait! Maybe Benson has a secret double life as professional racer! But- but he's not allowed to race anymore because he set his last race track on fire when he crashed his car, and sent a whole bunch of people to the hospital!" Rigby exclaimed.

Mordecai folded his wings across his chest. "You're so stupid."

"Whatever. Will you still come to the racecar tournament?" Rigby asked.

Mordecai nodded in response. "Maybe we'll even see Benson there," he sarcastically retorted.

**I didn't have much of a plan for this chapter, but I think I can start off with a good story from here. I hope you liked it, and I hope I got the character accurate enough. Should I continue? And also, the chapters will get longer. I just wanted to finish this before I went out.**


End file.
